Next stop?

I'm back in Nkhata Bay at a restaurant drinking a Green. That's what they call Calsberg in Malawi, simple and it makes sense.

It's been pretty much bang on two months since I was here, sitting in this same restaurant in fact. Those two months have been big for me. I reached the summit of Africa, slipped in a marriage proposal, saw the 'Big 5' in the Serengetti and witnessed a breath taking sunset on the Isle of Zanzibar. Those experiences I put in the 'yep richer for it' life column.
A week ago something else happened which I don't know how to judge. Jess and I broke up. It's tough when that stuff happens. I felt like my heart had been removed from my chest then dropped down a bottomless well, falling deeper and deeper into a place of sadness that seemed endless. It was horrible. Grasping for her touch in the dark. I had no idea how lonely the night could be.
But the sun did rise and has done so each day since. It's beautiful too, drifting up behind the mountains, painting the sky pink with colour then bursting onto the lake with it's golden light. I take that stuff for granted too much when my life is in cruize control. It's not healthy taing things for granted and I will do less of it in future.

I haven't quite moved into the head space of future thinking just yet, but I am out of the lonely dark, as I hope Jess is too. Fuck that is a horrible place. When I think about us now and the whole relationship, I believe it just wasn't our time. There was love I know that, the hurt has proved it, but maybe it just can't conquer everything, some gaps are just too wide to bridge.

Anyway tomorrow I'm off to Vizara, where is that? Who knows? Hopefully the bus driver as he will be taking our football team (Butterfly) for the match. I'm helping coach the boys team as part of my volunteering. It's been a good distraction and I'll stick at it for the short term at least.
As for Jess she has headed to Egypt to catch up with friends, and why not. It's a big world out there everyone should get out and see it.